"What a happy place"

Hmmm, not always, I chime in. What am I referring to? The maternity ward...or as we nurses call it L and D. Yes, there are many times I have the pleasure of gazing into absolute newness and innocence and I adore those days. And they are most days....a fantastic and reliable great percentage of days. But when it is bad....when it is gut-wrenching, when it brings you to your knees in tears.....it is bad.

Recently I had such a day, which inevitably turns into a week of sorrow, and then spills into the next week from the shear emotion and lability of it all. An unsuspecting staff, undeserving parents and an innocent baby that passed without warning. And we all cried. And we all thought, and tried to examine and re-examine to no avail. Life is unfair, but God....well God enables healing and is sweet and loving in his grace. I say this as the parents were gracious and thankful for their preciously savored time they did have with their baby. Gracious when others would have been angry, thankful when others would have been questioning.

So, yes, L and D is a great place. Most...thank God....most days are happy and filled with flowers and balloons and smiling family members and sweet smelling babies. And it all gives testament to the brevity, the fragility of life. And I cling to those happy times, to stiffen my back when its horrid.

Brrrrrrrrr

Ok, I admit it...I complained BIG TIME last week with the 90 degree temps and no A/C. Well...flip it all over a week later and its now 51 degrees. Mid June. Cold! Rainy, dreary cold. Makes me feel like early autumn and dragging out my Halloween decs. sigh. I have plants that need to get into the ground, a blueberry bush that is begging to be planted, weeding. Who wants to do it when all that sounds good is a warm blanket? I am sure next week will be warmer and I will be bitching again about the heat:) (this pix is of Norah during our heat wave...she was MISERABLE)

Hmmm...last night I listened to my iPod while driving and was loving "I'll keep your memory vague" by Finger Eleven and played it over and over while singing along. Came home and helped Craig in the basement as we have to get that room built so we can shift the kids around and Norah can have her very own room. I have dreams of pink and green and flowers and a picket fence and her cute little bed....and...ta da.....maybe Norah sleeping in her own bed:)

Made chicken quesadillas for dinner. Trying to use up all the stuff in my cupboards. Wegmans has a very very good salsa "Roasted Tomato" and i plucked some cilantro out of the garden and put it in the quesadillas. Made peanut butter brownies, too. Tonight I teach so probably will make something easy. Should do another batch of dough from the Artisan Bread book.

Well, I am going back under my blanket:) Brrrrrrr.

OMG... I suck at this:)

Well, yea..it's been awhile. I mean to write/journal but the days all melt together and before long its damn summer! So here I am.

We married 4/27/08. After being together for 5 very quick years. We just never thought much of it and time and money didn't really permit it. So now we have and it was a very lovely ceremony....at Highland Park, on the deck at Lamberton Conservatory. It was warm and sunny and dreamy. Lots of close friends came and immediate family. We went back to our house for an elaborate dessert reception. We had petit fours and carrot cake, fruit, cupcakes, chocolate and lots of wine. The following day we flew to Florida and went on a four day cruise to Nassau, Bahamas. The vacation was purely perfect and we muchly needed it:)

(Norah is in my lap right now, nursing and watching her newest obsession: Toy Story 2....so I am typing one handed and its taking me forever. I wonder if she knows she cant breastfeed forever??????)

Anyways, I have been making lovely warm toasty loaves of bread from Artisan Bread in 5 Minutes a Day. (artisanbreadinfive.com) Great book...easy recipes and fab bread in no time. It does take a lot of space in my fridge for the dough bucket, but I can make such great breads and pizzas and rolls...its crazy. We all love it.

Last night I made a roasted tomato sauce...in the oven, poured it over Gemelli and it was to die for. The tomatoes are so freakin sweet after a warm bath in the oven with some olive oil, spices, and a handful of bread crumbs. I roasted it for an hour at 400 degrees (convection) and it was divine. Will make it again. Now I always make homemade sauce..but on the stove and with onions...so this was different but utterly terrific.

The annual

Geez Louise....Could the stomach bug please go dormant forever and ever? Easter Sunday this year (March 23) we were all sick. We ate dinner (white rice anyone) in our pj's all looking like warmed up leftovers. Matted hair, no makeup...cheery huh?

This week while shopping at Wegmans I realized that DAMN groceries are expensive. I cannot get out of there without spending at least $150. Easy. Now, I make my own bread (not for everyday, but for nice dinners), make my own baked goods, make dinner every night from scratch, and feed at least 8 people a day, sometimes more..if guests are here, sometimes less. So, maybe its not sooo bad. We just cant eat out. Its even more damn expensive.

Craig hung shelves down in the basement this weekend. I finished up my second to last weekend at VNS. I cannot take the assignments and acuity of penis' blown off and wound care, wound care, wound care. I am tired of the neighborhoods, the whole 9. So off I go to just keep teaching and working at Unity. Phew.

Health tip #1.....watch your diet, dont become diabetic

Tip #2....if you do become diabetic...wear good fitting shoes, and moisturize your feet!

sigh. the wounds...is anyones skin intact?

such are the musings of a Registered Nurse.

Music and drums

I was lying on my couch Saturday. Norah and I looking at the vast tangle of tree branches just outside the living room window. Jonah was in the basement playing his drums. He is such a great musician. He taught himself drums and guitar and he is phenom!

I close my eyes and the steady drum beat and lyrics and song by Puddle of Mudd remind me of a dark dizzy bar. the kind where the floor is a bit tacky from spilled drinks, girls huddled up to the front of the stage and guys standing belly up to the bar watching ESPN. I have been there. i know it. And hearing my son play this music takes me to days spent in smoky bars and late nights.

I reopen my eyes and see my baby Norah nursing quietly..almost asleep in spite of the loud drumming and lyrical background. I see the beautiful house we live in, the quiet colors, the warm surroundings. I love this life. I love these moments.

Its been a while

I havent blogged in forever. Mostly because I dont have time. Life is so busy now. Norah is 15 months and just the sunshine in my life. I crave her and when I am away from her....I miss her sorely. She is so cute. She loves playing drums with Jonah and says "d" and points to the basement when she wants to play. When she is cold she says "ka" and shivers. SOOOOOOOO adorable. She loves her family. She is thrilled when we say "I'm gonna get cha" and she squeals and runs. Love. Pure love.

Craig and I are planning our wedding now. We bought the cruise, reserved the Lamberton Conservatory and the judge. Gotta get rings and clothes now. Its a lot of work, but once its done...it will be a sigh of relief.

Just remembered I have to hand in the form for STARR tax relief. Damn. Better go and remind Craig.

Peace.